The Gottman Method

The Gottman Method is a type of couples counseling that focuses on improving communication, conflict management, and intimacy. It emphasizes building a “sound relationship house” by strengthening areas like friendship, conflict resolution, and shared meaning. The method helps couples understand the difference between solvable and perpetual problems, and it teaches them specific skills to navigate both. Ultimately, the goal is to enhance connection, respect, and affection in the relationship.

Key Principles of the Gottman Method

Love Maps:

Encouraging couples to deepen their understanding of each other’s inner worlds, past experiences, and emotional needs.

Fondness and Admiration:

Help couples cultivate a positive emotional connection, which involves expressing appreciation, admiration, and affection.

Turning Toward Each Other:

Teaching couples to respond positively to each other’s bids for connection, rather than turning away or becoming defensive.

Allowing Influence:

Encouraging couples to be receptive to each other’s viewpoints and to allow their partner’s influence in decision-making.

Solving Solvable Problems:

Helping couples develop effective communication and conflict resolution skills to address problems that can be resolved.

Overcoming Gridlock:

Addressing perpetual problems by learning how to manage them constructively and potentially find areas of shared meaning.

Creating Shared Meaning:

Encouraging couples to find common values and goals, creating a sense of purpose and belonging together.

Empowering couples to build a strong, healthy, and fulfilling relationship by fostering positive communication, addressing conflicts constructively, and deepening emotional connection.

How The Method Works

Assessment

Therapists use structured exercises and assessments to identify relationship patterns and areas for improvement.

Skill-Building

Therapists guide couples through specific exercises to improve communication, conflict management, and emotional connection.

Education

Couples learn about the Gottman Method’s principles and techniques, gaining a deeper understanding of their relationship dynamics.

Practicing New Habits

Couples are encouraged to practice the skills they learn in their daily lives, fostering healthier relationship patterns.

Addressing Specific Issues

The method can be used to address a variety of relationship challenges, including conflict, communication problems, intimacy issues, and emotional distance.