Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive behavioral therapy is one way to get to your core beliefs about yourself, another person, or a situation in your life. Your core beliefs are your basic understanding of yourself, others, or your world. For example, some people believe that other people are generally trustworthy, this is because they have generally been around people who are trustworthy. Others have given them few, if any, reasons not to trust. Some people have the belief that other people are generally untrustworthy, this is because they have generally been around people who are not trustworthy. When we have these life experiences, it makes sense that these beliefs might be challenging to change. If we begin to talk to ourselves differently and begin to have different experiences with others that validate our new ideas, then we are able to change this internal belief system.

Beliefs about yourself are also changeable. You may have been told that you are worthless or stupid or many other hurtful things by caregivers in your life. After years of being told these things, you can begin to believe them as truths about yourself. I suggest beginning to talk to yourself in a more loving and nurturing way. I suggest rather than telling yourself that you are stupid, say, “I am a human and I make mistakes sometimes, I am working hard to improve my life, and I am making better decisions every day.”

Notice the chart below these paragraphs. If you begin to talk to yourself in a healthier way, you will be nurturing yourself in a way you may have never been nurtured before. Talking to yourself by saying, “I really want to exercise more, therefore I will schedule my exercises on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.” Rather than saying, “I really need to exercise more.” If you are like me, this makes me want to exercise less. It is somehow like my 15-year-old self says, “Yeah right, make me!”